Reflections on My Recent Escapades with Bra Shopping

 I am learning a lot and the more I learn the more I realize I am unaware of.

In Freya and Damarni's Mimi Holiday, I am one size. In Panache (and most other brands), I am a cup size larger. I am the same variance in many other brands depending on the style and shape. It makes things tricky, especially considering my small rib cage. Trying things on is hard because many places don't have 30 band sizes, let alone 28.

 I've read a lot of garbage about band sizing lately and for some reason I just won't buy into it. People are saying that a 27-29" waist should be a 32 band size! It isn't, people. I've tried 32 bands in around a dozen brands by now (possibly more than that in the long haul), including brands that "run small" and I have never found one that fit my small rib cage. Now if you prefer a 32 then by all means, that's your business, but I've seen much shaming of people "trying to fit into a smaller back size than they really are". Look, I had back pain in 32s and all I know is that when I switched to 28s and small-running 30s it went away. Not sort of went away, it was completely gone. And yes, my 28 band does cause a little bit of fat to stick out in the back. No, it does not leave marks on my skin.

Now that that rant is over and I have successfully alienated several people, back on to business about brands. What brands have worked for me? What brands do I like? I haven't tried everything yet but I have narrowed many things down. Below are some of the brands I tried. I have starred the brands that I own bras from/kept bras from.

Freya*
These bras fit me well depending on the style. I love the quality of their bras and the simplicity of many of the bras they offer. Not all styles are offered in a sub 32 band size, unfortunately, but my favorites ones are! I have a more bottom heavy breast, and full cups that don't lift me tend to look bad. Freya's full cup bras are either too small or slightly wrinkly. I prefer their demis.

Panache*
They fit much better than Freya, however I am a size bigger in them. I do get a little bit of cupping in their more full coverage bras, but it's not very noticeable and it's only a little bit. It fits better than Freya when it comes to full cups, and the prices are nicer too.

Mimi Holiday by Damarnis*
I love these bras. Love them. I would buy them in multiple colors if I could, and yet they're $90 a pop! Best investment in a bra I have made thus far. I feel so gorgeous in them, too.

Curvy Kate*
This is a really great budget brand for if I need a cheap bra fast. They are for fuller breasted women (not me) so they do cup a bit however they're ADORABLE lace bras at such an affordable price! I would highly recommend them to anyone with a full breast shape.

Ella MacPherson
I love your bras. They're gorgeous, and I gave them an honest shot but your 32 bands are too big on me. Sorry!

Agent Provocateur
I thought the detailing on these bras was gorgeous but I did not find them worth the price. Their band sizes ran small, however the did not fit me like any of my 30 bands do and they do not offer sub 32. I gave this brand a no-go. They're just not for me, probably better for somebody else.

Calvin Klein
You carry 30 band bras? I never knew that! Unfortunately I was unable to find one in my size in the store (just one a cup size too small). I find your bras to be very practical, but perhaps a little overpriced for how plain they are.

DKNY*
One of my favorite bras I have ever owned is from this store. It is the wrong size, a 32 band, and does not sit flat on my rib cage. I find your materials vs cost to be extremely reasonable and a good deal. For anyone 32 band and up I highly recommend you, especially on the lower end of the scale.

Victoria's Secret*
Not to bash them here, I still own one bra by them that is also the wrong size and it's pretty comfy, but I feel as though they overcharge for their bras. The lady who sized me at the store insisted I was an A-cup until I dragged her into the room with me and showed her that an A-cup didn't even cover my nipples.

Aerie*
Aerie, your stuff is cute. I buy panties from you because I'm cheap and love buying seven pairs for $26.  But you gear your bras towards teenage girls who are supposed to be small in the rib cage and you don't carry under a 32 band size? I get it, people haven't asked for it. They haven't because they don't even realize that there is something that fits them better out there. I guarantee that most of the girls I see going in and out of your store could fit in a 30 or smaller band size. Guarantee it. And they would buy it if you offered it. Your bras just don't fit me.

- - - - - -

I wanted to again stress that these are some, not all. Some of the brands I tried in stores and can't dig up the names right now. It would be really awesome if someday more brands paid attention to consumer sizes instead of only offering a limited amount of sizes and telling people they have to live in that small category. I commend the brands that do. And I even understand how certain brands are catering to a certain shape, and would never ask a brand to change its target audience for my sake (looking at you, Agent Provocateur).

Toodles.

Signs of a Bad Fit

This is an article I've written, rewritten and revised a thousand times, and I still scrap it in the end. Look: the bottom line is that there are a million different articles out there about bad fit, some way better than anything I could write. Do the research. I'll just give you a few starting tips here to help you out.

1. The band is supposed to be tight. I can't stress this enough. A band that actually fits you properly is most likely going to be a lot tighter than what you actually wear. If you're going to wear an underwire that doesn't actually fit right you might as well go bralette; you're just not getting support. If the size up does not feel tight but the "correct" size feels a little snug, give it time. They break in and loosen up. Even the loose ones do, which makes them looser and in turn makes them fit you even more badly.
2. There shouldn't be a ton of space between your bra and your armpit. If there is, you are wearing too small a cup size.
3. If you aren't filling out a full cup, but going down a size results in quadro-boob you may be bottom heavy in the breast and need a demi-cup. That's okay. Try on lots of brands and lots of styles because no one style fits all, and what looks great on those models will not look great on you--even if you are a size 0 and have a six pack. 
4. Wrinkling in the cup is a sign that there is a little too much space.
5. If the band rides up in the back, it's too big. When a band is riding up in the back (yes, even by a little bit) it means the straps are compensating because the band itself isn't staying put horizontal to the floor. Try going down a band size. 

How To Measure Your Bra: The Right Way

There are already several guides out there, this reddit guide being my favorite. The trouble is distinguishing the good guides from the bad ones. Many bra websites offer extremely inaccurate guides that give you sizes that will never fit right. That will be covered in another post.

You Will Need:

• Cloth measuring tape (found at any Michaels/craft shop)
• A mirror (optional but helpful).
• A pen and paper. 

Here is a good method to measuring for your bra size.

1. Strip down to nothing. No camisoles, no t-shirts, no bras, nothing.
2. Lean forward and go as close to parallel with the ground as you can. Remember to breath. Slowly massage your sides and armpits to try to encourage any "armpit fat" back towards the breast tissue. 
3. Wrap the measuring tape around your back, keeping it even with your breasts, and go across the nipple or the "fullest point". Hold the tape there so that it neither squishes the skin in, nor slides away easily (this can be tricky). Write that measurement down.
4. Stand up straight and wrap the measuring tape directly underneath your breasts. Use a mirror to check that it is perfectly parallel to the floor. You want the tape to be TIGHT. Not tight like a corset, but as tight as you can go without shaking. This is your band size. Write that down.
5. If you are an odd number you could go up a band size or down depending on your preference. I prefer going down for more support, but if you are particularly bony in the rib area a tight band might be too uncomfortable. So if you get 27" you could be a 26 or a 28 band. More on sub-32 band sizes later. 
6. Take the band size you come up with (if you are in between, do this for both the lower and higher number) and subtract that number from your bust measurement. 
7. Each number will be a cup size. 1= A, 2=B, 3=C, 4=D, and so on. Keep  in mind that different brands from various countries have different cup size methods, so please be sure to look that up! Some brands have no E-cup, some don't do DD or FF cups, etc. Look up what cups a brand offers and go by that. Highly suggested brands would be pretty much anything on BraStop.

Let's say your underbust measures at 30" and your bust measured at 35". The difference between those two numbers is five, which would put you at a DD cup in many brands. This is not the be all, end all number. You need to try it on first. Remember that for every band size you go down, you go a cup size up. If you normally wear a 34D, you would be a 32DD, a 30E, etc depending on the brand (some brands do not have E cups at all).

 If the cup size you come up with using this measurement system is different than what it would be if you just did the normal down a band size, up a cup size calculation, it's best to order several cup sizes online. Return the ones that don't fit. If, for example, you get a 28F, but by your calculations you should be a 28E, order both.

 If the band is so tight that it interferes with your breathing, go up a band size. If the band is riding up in the back, go down. It takes a lot of playing around but it's worth it in the end once you figure it out. 

 Now, in regards to sub-32 band sizes. 

  Many people will be surprised to learn that they are such a small number and will be concerned about where to buy them. Finding 28 is a little tricky but some sites consistently carry them. Sub-28 though usually has to be special ordered with no returns, so keep that in mind. If you measure as a 24-26 band, see how a 28 fits you and breaks in on you first. 

  Your band size is supposed to be extremely snug. When you jump up and down, the band should not move at ALL. It should not slide down or up as the day goes by. Another teller is, if the band seems parallel or close to parallel in the morning, but by the time you take your bra off at the end of the day it's not parallel, you need a smaller band. A band size is not meant to rest gently over your skin for decoration, it's supposed to dig its roots in and hold you up. Now, it's not supposed to hurt and you don't want to be poked with underwires, but it probably needs to fit a lot tighter than you are used to.

 I will say this: the 28 band was uncomfortably tight at first. It took some getting used to. But now once I'm used to it my 32 bands feel like a joke. They have no support in comparison. If you measure as a sub-32 band size and previously you were wearing something 32+, I suggest buying a 30 band size, getting used to that over a month period, then going another band size down gradually. Switching from a 34 to a 28 can be difficult to adjust to and might scare you off unless/until you're more comfortable with a proper fit.

 If you have been wearing a small band for over a month and it still causes you pain after the bra has broken in, it's time to go up in size.

Hope this helps you!

Backstory

For many years I was desperate to figure out why my clothes weren't fitting me the right way. I read books on how to find the best fit to flatter your shape, did countless shape and body type calculators online, and eventually came to the realization that I was actually an hourglass. To most people my curvy shape was obvious, and my realization was just beating a dead horse. However, I'd been having others tell me for years that I couldn't be an hourglass because my chest wasn't big enough. 

That's right, a 28F (equivalent to a 32DD, though I improperly wore a 32D for years) was considered too small to be hourglass. People would insist that I was wrong and that because they were a D and much bigger than me, I was just lying. My chest might be considered slightly above average in size, but when people think about "hourglass" they tend to imagine women who are significantly more well endowed than I am. People seemed to believe that hourglass just meant your breasts were big enough to be wider than your rib cage.

What doesn't help was the fact that wearing anything except very tight-fitting clothing would make me look small/flat chested with a much larger waist than I actually had. Many brands of jeans and pants would often be loose in the legs and tight in the bum. To be honest my realization about clothes came before my realization about bras, and I was either forced to wear clothes that did not fit right, or get things as simple as t-shirts or polos altered to fit my waist. After I realized bras existed for my small rib cage (which should really be in a 24-26 band), I began to wonder if clothes did too. That's when I began discovering that there are brands that cater to thin and curvy women!

While I am excited to show you what brands I have discovered and begin reviewing them, first I want to talk about the difference clothes and bras that fit can actually make. I'll be covering that over my next few posts. The major focus of this blog is to fill a gap I see where everyone is covering smaller chests and above average chests on small frames, but never "average" chests like my own. I look forward to it.

Why make a blog?

Figure. What comes to mind when you hear that word? Do you think of it in numerical terms, or do you think of it in terms of body? Do you think "figure" means "in shape"? Does it mean "hourglass"? What about fuller figures? What do they represent? Here in the United States we have a serious misunderstanding about figure. Clothing is almost always built to fit small-breasted, stick thin models. Day in and day out, though, we see fashion bloggers talk about the elusive "hourglass shape" and how if you're lucky enough to have it, anything will look great on you! Anyone with a waist that is 10" less than their bust and hips knows this is wrong and on many levels, backwards.

Thin and skinny are words almost always associated with being flat chested and the opposite of "curvy". Curvy implies some sort of fat problem, and while curvy is beautiful, designers can't design for that. Shopping for clothes when you have an hourglass figure can be extremely difficult. For those of you out there thinking, "You have no idea!" trust me, I do. I am not someone you would consider extremely curvy, but I have all the same problems. I have to get things as simple as "fitted polos" altered and taken in in the waist. Clothing almost never fits me off the rack, or when it does, it makes me look larger than I actually am. I can't find my bra size anywhere in stores and have to order from overseas.

This blog is a method to help other people who have a shape like mine (skinny hourglass) and document what I discover in my never-ending search for clothes and bras that fit properly. Hopefully other people will start to feel better about their bodies and no longer feel "weird" or like "misfits" because clothing and bras off the rack never fit. Perhaps it will act as a good resource for those of you who, like me, are trying to figure out where to go or where to order from.